Thursday, November 11, 2010

THe JOys of FAtherhood

After an hour and a half of preparation, dinner came out burned. So after some tears and nashing of teeth, we went out to eat. After we order, Jacob says he has to pee. So I get up to take Jake to the men's room, Brooke starts to cry so I carry her along too. Jacob gets done using the urinal and then says he has to poop, so he goes into the lone stall. As he is there, nature calls, and I do what any good father would do, I sling Brooke over my back for a piggy back ride. About two seconds after initiation of micturition, Brooke's arms go limp and she starts to let go of my neck, so now I am trying to catch her from falling off my back one handed. It turns out she was letting go for a reason, not a moment after I catch her under the butt on my back, I hear a cough followed by a sound that can only be described as "someone vomited in my ear" I thought she would be done after the first round, and when did she eat sausage? Nope, she goes for round two, over my right shoulder on the wall, the urinal, the floor, my boots, my shirt, conspicuously; everything except her. There is nothing to do except laugh at this point because much like the train in the new denzel movie, once micturition starts moving it cannot be stopped. So while balancing my falling daughter with one hand and having my ear thrown up into, I would still qualify for expert marksmenship. Jake comes out of the stall to ask why I am laughing and who made the mess. What a great night.

1 comment:

J'Mom-ma said...

Real men laugh at baby vomit! :D